AN EPISODE OF MY REFLECTION AS A TEACHER

This is one of my writings submitted for Professional Development in Language Education(EDU 5256),  under Prof Jaya and Dr Vahid, at University Putra Malaysia.

AN EPISODE OF MY REFLECTION AS A TEACHER

Teaching profession is a noble task and requires great passion and patience to endure and enjoy the teaching moments. There are times teacher’s patience will be tested by all kinds of situations and challenges. Teachers' experiences can build their self-development and yield blessings that can nurture their students and create amazing independent learners. However, there are times when the going gets tough and the deeds become rough. As for me, I have once experienced a very challenging but touching situation that tested my patience as a teacher.

I had to do my teaching practicum at SMK SAAS, Kajang from April until July 2010. I had to teach three Form 4 classes which were From 4 Amanah, Form 4 Dynamic, and Form 4 Harmony. Even though I have the experience of teaching in private and international schools since 1994, I found that teaching in government school is totally different. The environment is truly tense and the surrounding is filled with students who are stressed or bored in their studies.

The most challenging class that I have taught was Form 4 Harmony, as most of them hardly brought their English textbooks and exercise books. I had to narrate stories as I taught the English language each time I stepped into the class. When their examination dates were approaching, these students' anxiety levels got higher. They hardly understand English and I could not imagine how they were going to answer the questions. I drew the storyline and illustrated the characters in the short stories during the literature component sections in the English Language classes. I brought my radio and speaker and sang amazing songs with my students as I taught them role-plays to visualize the characters in the selected short stories for Form 4. There were laughter and joy during the lessons as every student participated. As time went on, the students began to love my style of teaching. I spent more time telling those stories and asking the students to recall my stories. I noticed them drawing on empty pieces of paper to recall and answer the exam questions. I distributed more blank papers to see them fill in their answers in the exam papers. I remembered their smile and shining eyes as they scribbled their answers. Although they did not score high grades in the English language, they managed to improve their marks. I am proud of them and loved to see them learn to love English and appreciate knowledge.

One day, about a month before I finished my teaching practicum in that school, I brought my Form 4 Harmony students to the Resource Center as there was no electricity in the school that day. When we reached there, one of the students lay down in the middle of the floor. I had to make the student stand up, so I told him politely to please stand up and if he felt tired, he could just sit down on one of the chairs there. To my surprise, he stood up and screamed on top of his voice at me. The other students tried to make him realize his mistake but it was just a waste of time. From that day onwards, I began to ignore him. Before the incident,  he was one of the students I loved to call to participate in the role plays and other activities during class time as I noticed he needed care from a teacher. However, ever since the day he misbehaved, I ignored him and did not call his name during the English Language classes. I noticed that he began to feel uneasy in class but I still ignored him.

The day came; it was the last day of my 3 months teaching practicum. On the last day, I taught the Form 4 Harmony students, they became so emotionally touched. As I left the class, which was on the third floor, I noticed someone running down the stairs behind me. I heard a familiar voice, as he was running down the stairs; he called my name and said that he was sorry. I turned and saw that he was the boy who had screamed at me at the resource center a month ago. I told him that I had already forgiven him. However he came closer and said again that he was sorry, really sorry, and at this time, I told him that I had forgiven him long ago and didn’t worry about it. Then as I walked along the ground floor corridor, I glanced back at him and saw his lonely face peeping through the bars of the stairs and I really hoped that I did not hear his last words…”Teacher Sakinah, please… don’t leave me..”

As I drove out of SMK SAAS, I reflected on what I was not supposed to do to him. I was not supposed to ignore him for nearly a month which I did as a punishment for his very rude behavior, but I realized that he appreciated my care only after I had left the school. The most touching part is the moments of silence have taught me an amazing lesson and I treasured the moments of his appreciation with my tears of empathy and his tears of gratitude…

Thank you, God, for Your Endless Blessings………..   

Written by: Nur Sakinah Thomas/MEd(TESL), UPM/2012