AN EPISODE OF MY REFLECTION AS A TEACHER

This is one of my writings submitted for Professional Development in Language Education(EDU 5256),  under Prof Jaya and Dr Vahid, at University Putra Malaysia.

AN EPISODE OF MY REFLECTION AS A TEACHER

Teaching profession is a noble task and requires great passion and patience to endure and enjoy the teaching moments. There are times teacher’s patience will be tested by all kinds of situations and challenges. Teachers experiences can build their self development and yield blessings that can nurture their students and create amazing independent learners. However, there are times when the going gets tough and the deeds become rough. As for me, I have once experience a very challenging but touching situation.

I had to do my practical teaching at SMK SAAS, Kajang on the month of April until July 2010. I had to teach three form 4 classes which are From 4 Amanah, Form 4 Dynamic and Form 4 Harmony. Even though I have the experience of teaching in private and international schools since 1995, I found that teaching in the government school is totally different. The environment is truly tensed and the surrounding is filled with students who are stressed or bored in their studies.

The most challenging class that I have taught was the Form 4 Harmony, as most of them hardly bring their English text books and exercise books. I had to narrate stories as I teach English language each time I step into the class. As times goes on, the students began to love my style of teaching. I spent more time telling those stories and asking the students to recall my stories.

One day, about a month before I finished my practical teaching in that school, I brought my Form 4 Harmony students to the Resource Center as there was no electricity in the school that day. When we reached there, one of the students lied down in the middle of the floor. I had to make the student stand up, so I told him politely to please stand up and if he feels tried, he can just sit down on one of the chairs there. To my surprise, he stood up and screamed on top of his voice at me. The other students tried to make him realize his mistake but it was just a waste of time.

From that day onwards, I began to ignore him. Before the incident, he was one of the students I love to call as I noticed he needs care from a teacher. However, ever since the day he misbehaved, I ignored him and did not call his name during the English classes. I noticed that he began to feel uneasy in class but I still ignored him.

The day came; it was the last day of my 3 months practical teaching. On the last day, I taught the Form 4 Harmony students, they became so emotionally touched. As I left the class, which was on the third floor, I noticed that someone came running down the stairs behind me. I heard a familiar voice, as he was running down the stairs; he called my name and said that he was sorry. I turned and saw that he was the boy who had screamed at me at the resource center a month ago. I told him that I have forgiven him already. However he came closer and said again that he was sorry, really sorry and at this time, I told him that I have forgiven him long ago and don’t worry about it. Then as I walked along the ground floor corridor, I glanced back at him and saw his lonely face peeping through the bars of the stairs and I really hoped that I did not hear his last words…”Teacher Sakinah, please… don’t leave me..”

As I drove out of SMK SAAS, I reflected on what I was not supposed to do to him. I was not supposed to ignore him for nearly a month which I did as a punishment for his very rude behavior, but I realized that he appreciated my care only after I have left the school. The most touching part is the moments of silence has taught me an amazing lesson and I treasured the moments of his appreciation with my tears of empathy and his tears of gratitude…

Thank you God for Your Endless Blessings………..   

Written by: Nur Sakinah Thomas/M.Ed(TESL), UPM/2012